Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Its so crazy it could have only happened in little old NEW YORK!

My cute sister Ash is moving to NYC for the summer and I am so sad to let her go. I am also really excited for her! On Saturday we had a little party for her, partially because she is leaving and partially because its her birthday on June 8th and she will be at a Yankee game and not here to celebrate with us. The party turned out SOOO cute!! I don't have all the pictures-- the majority of them are on Kate's camera-- but here's a little preview:

I hope that Ash has the BEST summer of her whole life being a New Yorker!! I am really going to miss her!!

Friday, May 27, 2011

My Bucket List

My sister Ash is moving to NYC next week and I could not by more excited for her. What a cool thing to be able to do. With all of the excitement surrounding her getting ready to go it has made me think about all the things I want to do in my life. (moving to New York is on my list) I think after the movie The Bucket List came out, everyone wrote their list of wants down to accomplish before they "kick the bucket." In the past I have written a list down but I always seem to lose it -- and my motivation with it. So, here is a more permanent way to keep track of my bucket list.
First is my travel list- this is a list of places I want to see before I die:
1. Costa Rica
2. Bahamas
3. Caribbean
4. Greece
5. Italy
6. London
7. Paris
8. Vatican City
9. Brazil
10. Chile
11. Australia
12. All 50- States
13. Canada
14. Ireland
15. Sweden
16. Africa
17. Jamaica
18. Spain
19. Italy
20. Norway
21. Finland
22. Denmark
23. New Zealand
24. India
25. Belize
26. Egypt
27. Germany

Other things I want to do before I die:
1. See the 7 wonders of the world --

2. Get a my bachelors degree
3. Get a masters degree
4. Own my own house-- no mortgage-- really own it.
5. Spend a summer on a beach
6. Run marathons until I don't want to run anymore
7. Scuba dive
8. Snorkel
9. Hike on a volcano
10. Live in New York-- be a New Yorker
11. Serve a humanitarian mission
12. Retire
13. Complete a triathlon
14. Run the Boston Marathon
15. Skydive
16. Bungee jump
17. Own a real designer purse
18. Write a book
19. Learn a second language-- Spanish
20. Buy my dream car
21. Swim with dolphins
22. Send a message in a bottle
23. Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home (just once)
24. Spend New Years in an exotic location
25. Spend Christmas on the beach drinking pina coladas
26. Drive a convertible down Pacific Coast Highway with the top down
27. Drive across the country
28. Scuba dive off Australia's Great Barrier Reef.
29. Ride in a hot air balloon
30. Touch an iceberg
31. Steal a sign
32. Kiss in the rain
33. See the statue of liberty 
34. Shop of 5th avenue 
35. Run the New York City Marathon
36. Get Married 
37. Get a tattoo
38. See the Golden Gate Bridge
39. See the Space Needle 
40. Go to Mexico
41. Go on a cruise
42. Go to Lake Powell
43. Learn to Wakeboard
44. Snowboard
45. Go to the Olympics
46. Eat Sushi
47. Hike the Grand Canyon
48. Go to counseling
49. Truly forgive
50. Watch a baseball game at Yankee Stadium
51. Watch a baseball game at the New Yankee Stadium
52. Go to a professional basketball game
53. Go to a professional football game
54. Watch a game in every baseball stadium in the US
55. Go on a luggage free vacation
56. Look at New York from the top of the Empire State Building
57. Stay in a beach house
58. Be debt free
59. Become an R.D.
60. Have kids

I know I am going to have to constantly be adding and changing this list-- but its a pretty good start.

My relationship with exercise

I have a weird relationship with exercise. At points in my life I have been overly obsessive to the point that it I was unhealthy. I would easily spend 3 hours at the gym 5 times a week- sometimes more. I would also run in the mornings and then go back to another class or two. It was addicting. I couldn't think of anywhere else that I would rather go than to the gym.I felt so good when I worked out and I was obsessed with getting into tip top shape. I know I was trying to fill some voids, and I could have been doing way more destructive activities- it still was not healthy. 

Then, at other points I didn't exercise at all. I gained a lot of weight and I was just as unhappy as I was when I was working out too much- but I didn't look as good in my clothes. I am all or nothing when it comes to going to the gym and exercising. That seems like it would be a great thing-- but at times it can be really bad. 

Recently I have made a really big effort to start working out more- and to have a better balance. For the past little while I have been on my gym hiatus. I have been doing so good at getting an hour or and hour and a half in at the gym 4 times a week. But, slowly I can feel myself slipping back into obsessiveness. Its like I don't know where to draw the line between pushing myself and going too far. Last night was a prime example. I went to the gym and started working out- I wanted to push myself and really get a good work out in. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical then I lifted for a little while and then headed to the treadmill. Instead of running for a little while I pushed myself and ended up on there for another 45 minutes. By the time I left more than two hours had passed. Don't get me wrong I am really proud of myself and I really like working hard-- I just know thats where I start. Its starts at two hours-- then I want to spend two hours doing cardio- then I still need to lift- then I want to go to a class after- and it slowly takes over my life. 

When I was studying nutrition I learned about an eating disorder called "hypergymnasia" It is in the same class as anorexia or bulimia but has to do with exercise. A person suffering from hypergymnasia becomes obsessed with "burning off" their food. Much like bulimia they still eat-- but they want to make sure they burn off every calorie they eat.I know I have suffered from this disorder- I don't think I have it right now but I know I am prone to it. I really want to get back into shape I just can't seem to balance myself. I want the extra weight to be gone now-- and the longer I work out the more of a possibility that becomes. How do you balance life and exercise? How do you tell yourself its ok to spend an hour maybe two at the gym and then be done? Is it ok to spend three hours at the gym on a regular basis? Is being addicted to working out really so bad? I know I don't want to let working out take over my life but I just can't seem to figure out where that line is. At what point am I really working out well and still maintaining life outside the gym? 

Thursday, May 26, 2011


This past weekend we packed up, dropped Gator off at my friends Kerri's house and headed to California. My sister Ash called me Monday last week and asked if we wanted to go spend the weekend- of course I said yes, but Iw as SHOCKED when Sam said that he wanted to go too!
 We ended up staying in Costa Mesa and having a really great weekend. It was so low key. We spent most of our time at the beach. In typical Cardon fashion we found a baseball game- which happened to be The Angels vs. The Braves! The game was a lot of fun and we had some pretty good seats. In fact they were in the same section-- and almost exact same seats we have sat in when we go to the Yankee games there. The game ended up going 12 innings- so we were kind of over it at the end, but it was still so much fun.
We came home on Sunday with a little color, left over Sprinkles Cupcakes, and collectible Angels cups... successful trip if you ask me!
We were not very good at taking pictures-- buts here's a few.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Who knew 6 a.m. looked so good??

Mornings are not great for me. Sam is really good about waking up and being really happy no matter what time it is- I on the other hand do not feel "happy" at all when I get up-- not matter what time it is. This morning I had to get up early -- like 5 a.m. early. To my pleasant surprise it wasn't really that hard once I was up-- in fact I kind of loved it. I ended up getting done with what I was doing around 6:15. I usually don't go to work until 9ish... so I had about 3 hours to kill. I ended up getting a great work out in, walking Gator, sweeping the front patio and around the back door, putting all the dishes in the dishwasher, cleaning up the kitchen, reading scriptures, and getting ready and showering-- all before 8:45 this morning. I feel very accomplished. I think I may just be motivated enough to get up and do that a couple of times a week-- I could get a lot of stuff done-- my goodness! I am just hoping now that I don't crash this afternoon :)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

So Close I Can Taste It!

Today I went to meet with my school guidance counselor about getting my classes set up for the next school year. I really want to be done with my bachelors ASAP! I sat down and talked to him and got a do-able plan together.... which means.... I CAN GRADUATE IN THE SPRING!!! Next spring that is, but that is still only two semesters worth of classes! I could not be more excited. I love that there is an end in sight and its closer than I thought! I really hope that I can get the classes that I need so it will all work out.. So excited!!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Emotionally Spent

Today has been an extremely emotional day for me. I have literally cried at the drop of a hat. I am not exactly sure why I feel so emotional, but I do. I met with the doctor this morning and he told me that he isn't sure whats wrong. He gave me a whole list of things that it could be but nothing that it was for sure. I told me that he would talk to the pathologist again and see if he could get some more answers. I left his office feeling awful.

Just barely I got a call from him. He stated that he talked to the pathologist and that they wanted to watch things a little longer to see what it was. They said that I could have some of the issues from the prep, but that they didn't know why I had been having all the other problems. I think that phone call made me feel worse. I feel like I am in a worse place than when I started this whole ordeal. I may or may not have a problem and I may or may not need to go see someone again about. There are literally no answers, just more questions. I am emotionally spent. I don't know if I should be happy that we are just watching it- or if I should be more worried. I was hoping today would give me comfort and that I would find a direction but instead I have found a dead end.

I feel like a test rat. Prodded and poked and pulled and examined all so they can "just see" whats going on. I decided that I could make it through a colonoscopy and all that entailed because at least I would know why I was feel this way. Instead I just feel worse.  I feel upset that I had to pay for all of that testing and all of those visits and go through all of that ordeal and in the end I am no closer to figuring out whats wrong. I just want to be done, so this is me deciding that I am done. I guess my body will just have follow, and even if it doesn't, I guess the chips will fall where they may.


Today is my doctor's appointment to find out what's going on with me. I have been so anxious all morning. Its been awful. I feel like I can't focus on anything but the worst possible scenario. I keep imaging what my reaction is going to be-- and I don't even know what I'm reacting to.  I am so glad my appointment is first thing this morning or I may have been a nervous wreck. I don't know why I am getting so nervous for this, I am sure he is going to tell me its nothing and I spent all this time and energy going crazy for nothing. I just can't help it. I honestly don't feel like I can make plans or think about anything else until I get through this visit. I know I need to relax, but knowing and doing are very different things. Wish me luck.

Monday, May 16, 2011

I'm such an old lady

Its awful. I was getting dressed and ready for work this morning when I realized that I have turned into such an old lady.
Exhibit A) I searched my closet to find the most comfortable outfit that was still work appropriate.
B) I didn't even open the side of my closet with high heel-- too much work.
C) I grabbed a cardigan just in case I got cold--- its literally 75 degrees today.
D) My body cracks and creaks like an old house.
E) Young Kacee would hate my hair today. -- its lazy for sure.
F) I didn't even open my jewelry box.

I hate it. Even with  breakfast I was thinking what should I eat that will sustain me the longest and be the most balanced for breakfast--- You can't get much more old lady than that. So, in retaliation I ate a cupcake on my way out the door-- just to prove that I am still a kid at heart. Then instant guilt.... back to old woman.

I need to get back to feeling 24 not 84. My goal this week is to look and act more my age and to not give into becoming old and boring. How awful and old lady-ish is it that I have to set a goal not to act like an old lady?? Pathetic right. Well, I've gotta start somewhere or before ya know it I will be in orthotics and looking and denture cream. My worst hell for sure.

All About Ms. Jentrie Lou

Today Little Miss Jentrie is 10!! I cannot believe it! It seems like she will always just be this little cute 3 or 4 year old running around. I know that sounds so old when I say that, but I just can't believe that she really is 10. Jentrie is so unique. She likes what she likes and doesn't apologize for it. She is so friendly and makes hundreds of friends everywhere she goes. People just instantly love her. She is very talented and athletic. She can literally fix anything. She is spunky. Jentrie is so sweet and loves to be around people. She is so much fun and I just LOVE being her aunt! I hope you have the best day Jent!! I love you!!

All About Sam

Yesterday was Sam's 26th birthday. Since it was on Sunday we spent most of the weekend celebrating-- I use that term loosely though. Everything we did all weekend even if its what we would always do we called celebrating. Friday we went to dinner-- Birthday dinner of course. Saturday morning house cleaning-- birthday house cleaning. Saturday grocery shopping--- birthday grocery shopping. Hahaha it just feels so much better when you call name it something special.

Sam lost his sunglasses in the lake last year and has been so sad ever since, so we went to Lip Tricks and got him a new pair. He was so happy to have new sunglasses-- he literally wears them every where. On Sunday the primary sang to Sam and all the kids were dying to know how old he was. After church we went over to Sam's mom's house for a birthday dinner. She was so sweet and made him his favorite meal and a birthday cake. His birthday was pretty low key-- but I think he likes it that way.

I am so happy to have Sam in my life. He mellows me out and is so much fun to be around. I am so happy he was born 26 years ago! Love you Salmon!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Missing My Zebra Rug

I am CONSTANTLY changing my house. I can't help it. I get an idea in my head or I get bored with something and I will literally spend the entire night rearranging or painting or whatever it is I think needs to be done. It's a curse. Well I have been so sad lately because our sweet little puppy/pain the the ass dog decided that my FAVORITE zebra printed rug needed to go through the doggie door and out side for him-- so that's what he did-- shredding the entire rug in the process. If I hadn't found such a good deal on the rug, and knew that I could get another one-- I would have killed sweet little Gator.

Well ever since then I haven't really loved my front room as much-- That room just screams for a zebra printed rug.  I found a new coffee table to put on top of a rug so that the puppy can't haul it out the door. I haven't ordered the rug yet-- but I can't wait to do it and finally feel like that room is back together again. I found a really cheap black rug to hold its place in the meantime. (I am waiting for the zebra one to go on sale again-- the place I got it does AMAZING sales-- you just have to be patient). So here is my front room that I can't wait to finish off with another zebra rug-- until then.

Cookie Flowers

  My sister Ash is a kindergarten teacher and always seems to have the best ideas for little crafting items. Just recently it was teacher appreciation day and she got some of the cutest things ever. I love to see what she gets and then I copy it. This year she had a mom make her those cookie and gum drop flowers. It was so cute and seemed pretty simple. I was looking for some cute gifts I could take to my visiting teaching girls (I just got two new ones and it just doesn't seem right to come over for the first time without a treat in hand). I went and got all the stuff and it turns out they are even easier than I thought, and they turned out SOO cute-- if I do say so myself! I made a few more than the ones in the picture- but I had already delivered them by the time I thought to take a picture.

Dance Dance Dance

 McKall and Jentrie had their dance recital last night. They both did such a good job. I always get extra proud as an aunt when the perform well. I danced for about 4 years I remember I was always way too self conscious and nervous to even smile much less get up there and really shake it. McKall and Jent seem to have no fear. They both just get up there and look like they are having so much fun. They seem to really love it, which makes it so fun to watch. I love that I am able to go watch them. Little Miss Jentrie has the cutest little bum and just gets up on stage and really shakes it! Everyone in the audience was commenting how cute she looked up there. McKall just is really growing up so much and did so well on all her dances. I can tell she loves her hip hop the most because she got into so much! She has some real street cred fo sho! hahaha

Mom and Stae

This is Ms. Staelie and her friend-- Its CRAZY how much they look alike!
Ms. Jentrie Lou!
Isn't my Grandma just the cutest thing ever!!

Good job Girls!! I am so proud of you!!